Most of the women in my friendgroups have grown children with families of their own. They have followed the eternal familial path to adulthood. And those jolly grammies and grandpas are along for the exciting ride, reliving parenthood from a different perspective, reinvigorated with hopes and dreams for the future.
For that reason, many of them are quite politically active. They have something very personal to fight for. More personal even than life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And that’s to try to ensure it for their own families’ futures.
Then there’s my 33-year-old son. Unmarried, childless, with no prospects. And while that’s not what either of us expected or had hoped for (he’s always wanted to be a dad), we both wonder if it’s not for the best?
I know I said it in my 20s that the world was going to hell, so “why would I propagate?” I supported Zero Population Growth too; have always been concerned about sustainability on this planet. But in my 30s, I fell in love and wanted nothing more than a baby version of that man I fell in love with — double the fun!
But now that man is gone, our boy’s father, and the world is (in my opinion) far scarier than it was from my perspective 35 years ago when all I saw was possibility.
So I get it when he says he’s glad he hasn’t started a family. He’s nervous over next week’s midterm elections, what 2027 will bring, what these wars and weird games of “capture the flag” popping up all over the world really mean.
Me too. And if this were 35 years ago, I don’t know what decisions his dad and I would’ve made.
But this morning, as I was fixing my protein and yogurt mixture so I could take my supplements and get my healthy, fit, productive day underway, I felt my son’s presence over my shoulder. Again — wondering why.
“WHY EVEN BOTHER??”
He asked this in a phone call earlier this week. Why worry about being healthy? Why take supplements? Why even stop drinking?
What’s the point?
He’s asked this too often his entire life. His fatalism is unnerving. For at least 20 years, he’s asked whether this is real life or a simulation. And I’m beginning to question things myself.
I don’t know how other families among my contemporaries manage this dark outlook, though I know it’s there among a lot of our millennials.
How can we keep pressing on, keep knowing how important it is to do so — when there’s an entire generation asking why?
Are tried-and-true parental affirmations enough?
“Sure beats the alternative!”
“Let go and let God?”
“Remember to vote?”
The best I can say is that none of us truly knows what the future holds. Another affirmation, one of my favorites: “Our days are not promised.” Not a single one.
I can’t answer my son’s question for him. I can only answer it for myself.
I live my life trying to do and be the best I can each day. I take my supplements. I eat healthy-ish. I drink less alcohol. I exercise. And I go to sleep each night, satisfied with — and grateful for — another full day.
As I fall asleep each night, sure, I look forward to seeing the glow of the sun tomorrow. But projection isn’t my thing anymore.
All I can do is focus on the present. Awake. Aware. Alive.
P.S. Please remember to vote! If you’re still deciding where, when, or how, USA.gov’s voting page will point you to your state’s official election site.
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